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24 December 2011 @ 09:58 pm
Dawn Gets to Have Two Moms/Empty  

TITLE/PROMPT: Dawn Gets to Have Two Moms/Empty

AUTHOR: mkrobinson

RATING: PG-13

WORDS: 1730

TABLE: http://babysitters100.livejournal.com/53582.html#cutid1

SUMMARY: Betsy doesn't beat the cancer.

WARNINGS: Takes place during Sunny, Diary Three, so therefore character death (Mrs. Winslow) and some foul language, Also I made it so The Fire At Mary Anne's House was the last book that the girls were in 8th grade for, meaning that they enter ninth grade after the summer, also I spread out the events in CD so that Gracie was born in fall of freshman year and Mrs. Winslow died in fall of freshman year

NOTES: This is in the same universe as all of my previous stories, with the exception of the crossover. Takes place during California Diaries, Sunny Diary Three.


Dawn

Mom is coming back. To Palo. Not for good, but she's coming back. She'd said she never would.

She's only coming back because Sunny's mother, her mother, died. 

I know that's why. She feels guilty.

Like she should have been there for Sunny. And Mr. and Mrs. Winslow. That maybe if she'd come, Mrs. Winslow would have gotten better.

It isn't true. Mrs. Winslow lied to my mom. To my mom, one of her best friends. She told her she wasn't dying. She said she would get better. She lied. 

Why did she lie? Mom could have handled it, she isn't a baby!

Is it because she smokes? Does it really matter? I hope she doesn't smoke around Sunny and Mr. Winslow.

I don't think she would, but she might forget.

I'll remind her when we get her at the airport.

Richard and Mary Anne are coming, too. They're staying with us, though Mom wanted to stay in a hotel, because Sunny asked for it.

Sunny's staying with us too. Carol says that we should be sympathetic to her. I'm trying, but it's hard. I don't know anyone whose mother has died.

(later)

Mary Anne. But she doesn't remember her mom, so it's not really the same.

Is it? 

I don't know. I want to ask Carol about it, but she's busy with Sunny and Gracie.

I'm so sad. I don't know what I'm going to do. I want to cry but there are no tears left.

Sunny's aunt is mad at her because she broke a vase.

Her mother died. She can break things if she wants to. No wonder she'd rather stay here. 

At least Dad and Carol are being nice to her.

I feel so bad, diary. What should I do? What should I say? 

I have to go, now. Dad and I are leaving to get Mom, Richard, and Mary Anne at the airport.

(later still)

I made Mom promise, promise, promise to not smoke around Sunny and Mr. Winslow, and she started to cry. Like really cry, and I hadn't meant for that to happen, it's just that sometimes she forgets things.

And this isn't something she can just forget.

At all.

Things are less awkward than I thought they'd be. Which isn't saying much.

Mary Anne made a blanket for Gracie, and Carol was so happy. Gracie just babbled at her and showed her her new teeth.

Dad and Richard remembered that they were both lawyers, and they seem to have found something in common, talking about their jobs. Mom and Sunny went for a walk together. I don't know where they went. I thought they'd need some time alone.

Fuck. What do I do? I don't know what to do. 

Mary Anne is drinking herbal tea with Carol, and I really ought to join them. Jeff should be back from the movies soon.

I made him promise to be nice to Richard. 

He fucking agreed because my best friend's mother died and even Jeff knows that he shouldn't be joking around about things related to it. 

Even Jeff.

I just want this to be a nightmare that I wake up from. 

Just a nightmare. And Mrs. Winslow will be healthy. And not dead. 

And I won't have to tell Mom she can't smoke around Sunny because none of it will matter.

It won't! Mom will be back in Stoneybrook, where she belongs.

Because Elizabeth Winslow will not be dead.

She won't be!

***

Sharon Spier took a sip of the coffee that Jack had made the night before, unable to sleep. It wasn't because she was back at her old house for the first time after their divorce, with her new husband asleep in Jack's home office, which had been assembled into a hasty guest room; it wasn't because of the baby, in fact little Elizabeth Grace was sound asleep, which was a shame since Sharon would have willingly watched her for Jack and Carol; it wasn't even because of the fact that Jeff, Mary Anne, Dawn, and Sunny had been watching scary movies all night; but it was, at least a little bit, because she was in town for Betsy's funeral. 

Her only friend in the whole of Palo City, and she was dead.

And it sucked.

She'd seen Dawnie's diary, seen the entry that she'd written that day, and she'd sighed, knowing that her oldest hadn't meant to upset her, knowing that she was suffering from Betsy's death, just as much as Sunny was, and not knowing what to do about it. 

It wasn't like it would end. The wake was later that day.

The funeral was the day after.

"Are you okay?"

Shit. It was Carol. She shrugged.

"I guess."

"Do you want to talk?"

"I guess."

"Okay. I woke up to check on Gracie and saw the light on in here. Do you want to hold her?"

"Sure."

"Okay! Gracie, this is Dawn and Jeff's mommy! She's come to visit!"

She managed a smile, taking the baby, Jack's new baby, from her. Gracie smiled at her, babbling quietly. Carol poured herself a cup of coffee, and they sat. 

She didn't hate her, far from it, and despite what some people thought, Carol wasn't the reason that they'd gotten divorced. This whole situation was just...sad.

She would have much rather come visit and meet the baby on a happier occasion. 

"She told me that she was fine. She lied to me."

"I don't think Betsy and Paul wanted you to worry, Sharon."

"I would have come visited. Richie could have sent me here while I was nearly catatonic about the house burning down."

She smiled, only joking. 

"I think that Betsy wanted to believe that she was getting better, you know? I don't think she wanted to admit she was dying, and, well, could you imagine how the facade would have crumbled had her best friend come all the way across the country, just to visit?"

"I know. I just...I thought she'd get better, you know? People get better all the time, and she told me they were trying new treatments-"

"I understand."

"And then I...oh, God, she looked awful. She could barely even talk and I had to read her that damned Karen's witch books-did you know that I read twenty of them and I think she wanted me to continue? I lied to her, okay? I told her that the fire wasn't that bad, because she saw my friend Marjorie's brother's playroom in the background, and-"

"It's okay. What were you supposed to do? Like you said, she was very ill."

"And now she's dead!"

Gracie made a noise, and she remembered the baby in her arms, shifting them a bit so that she could get a better glimpse at her. She really did look like Dawnie.

"I know, Sharon. I know."

"I miss her."

"I know."

"And I feel bad for Sunny."

"I know."

"She said you're helping her. A bit."

"I'd like to think I am."

"You are. Thank you."

***

Sunny

This is so weird. It was just a week ago that Mom was still alive, still in our dining room, in her hospital bed. And now she's dead. 

Really dead. Not sick. Not dying. 

Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead.

This sucks. I don't have a mom anymore.

Dad doesn't even care that I haven't been home since the day she died. He hasn't even bothered calling Dawn's, to make sure I'm here. 

I know he misses Mom, but really? I could have taken a bus to Venice Beach and run away and he wouldn't even notice.

Would he? I think Carol and Jack might have. Sharon, definitely.

Sharon's back, and I have a feeling she'd kill me if I ran away.

Not that I really can, since I am at Dawn's house, with her whole family (except for her grandparents) shoved into it.

Including Sharon and her husband, Richard, and if they can stay there than so can I.

I'm not a baby.

Am I?

I don't think I am. 

I should try to get some rest. 

Maybe if I pretend that Mary Anne is just here for a vacation I'll be able to.

Maybe.

Goodnight.

(later)

I fell asleep. I don't know how, but I fell asleep.

Dawn just woke me up to tell me that Carol and Sharon are taking us to the mall.

Carol and Sharon. They are slightly similar. And they both care about me.

I guess it'll be okay.

Jeff went to school, but Dawn and I didn't.

I would have rather gone to school.

Or gone surfing.

Or had a meeting of the stupid We Love Kids Club.

I hate this.

Why did Mom have to die? Why?

Couldn't she have gotten better?

Sharon smokes-I know she does-and she doesn't have stupid lung cancer. She isn't dying. Or dead. Dawn has two moms. Why does she get two moms?

...That wasn't very nice of me.

(later)

Dyeing my hair maroon was not the most mature decision I have ever made. Even though it was with kool-aid.

I did it for the attention.

No one has said a thing.

Mr. Spier did start to, but Sharon clapped her hand over his mouth. 

I wanted them to say something!

Dammit, I did it so they would say something!

Mary Anne found me in Dawn's room and offered to help me wash it out.

I accepted her help, and I cried. 

Mary Anne only has one mom. 

Her mom died too.

She understands. 

Sort of.

I don't know anymore.

I don't want to do this.

I can't.

I'm such a little baby. It's just a wake. I've been to wakes before.

Just not my mom's.